There are many kinds of love. We often get stuck on that one love. The BIG love. We are programmed to believe that it’s the only love that can make us feel complete. Many people have contradicted it. I am one of those people. I am contradicting it. Love is just love. Any kind of love you will receive or give is capable of making you feel that way. Recently, I’ve been endeavoring to love myself. I am re learning to see the good in me. I feel utterly at peace with myself right now. The more I accept who I am and who I wanna be. This is something I will not give up any time soon. It has taken so long to reach here, to accept that I am amazing and I deserve every happiness possible. Most of us don’t think that. It is strange. I am my BIG love and I have to say it makes me feel so damn good! That’s what love is suppose to do, isn’t it? Make us feel we are amazing and better than we think we are. Put a shiny light on all the good in us and then shove our face in it. That’s what love is suppose to do. I often feel that I am done with love. That I have had my one great love and it is over. I am now realizing how wrong I am. Life is like a heartbeat, it has its own ‘pqrst’ waves. The last time I felt this contentment and peace with myself, I was 16 years old. I never documented it or wrote it down but I still remember that moment that I realized it. It is etched in my neurons. It will stay there forever (unless Alzheimer’s). And now I wanna remember this moment too. This moment where I know who I am and what I am capable of doing. This peace and love for myself. The one I’ve been craving all along and looking for in all the wrong places. I can hear myself telling me, “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby.” (#CigarettesAfterSex)
We all wanna be loved in a certain way. I am learning to love who I am and I wanna stay this course. Sail away into the sunset with this feeling.
I hope you find your own love yourself, if you don’t have it already. I really do hope you find it. Love yourself.